365 Things to Look Forward to–Number 29: Writing

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29. Writing

I started actively writing at a very young age.

In an effort to make us children “widen our horizons” and “broaden our knowledge” my mother made us read. We had several books in our “library” at home–the Grolier’s Encyclopedia set, the Book of Knowledge series, Through Golden Windows series, the Book of Science series, the Bookshelf for Boys and Girls, and more. As a voracious little bookworm, I gobbled up everything I could get my hands on, and when I was done with all the stories in the Bookshelf for Boys and Girls and Through Golden Windows, I dug into my mothers collection of novels–The Ugly American,  Du Maurier’s Rebecca, Somerset Maugham’s The Book Bagand my dad’s novels, starting with El Filibusterismo and Noli me Tangere. Not exactly reading for an 8 to 10 year old girl, but I took them all in. In between different books by Louisa May Alcott (Little Women, Little Men, Jo’s Boys, and Good Wives) I entertained myself with more of my dad’s collections from the Classics Club: Montaigne, Aristotle, Plato, Shakespeare’s Complete Works, Milton, Wordsworth, Desiderium Erasmus, Bacon, and other scholarly and philosophical literature. Most unusual fare for a young girl, but I thrived on it.

By the time I discovered the school library, I was bringing home book after book after book, most of the time, up to the maximum of 5 books per day, all of which I’d have returned in the course of a week, so that by the weekend, I’d have another 5 books to bring home. It was there that I discovered Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, the Dana Girls, the Bobbsey Twins, and all manner of novels. Because I had befriended the librarians and helped out as a member of the library club during breaks and after school, I could take home more books than other students. My school bag would be full of 10 books I’d check out every Friday and return sometime during the following week, as I finished them.

So you can see that I had a lot to write about. Why did I need to write about these, you ask? First, reading all those books was helpful in writing book reports. I had no trouble writing book reports at all. Second, to make sure my brothers were reading books, my mother provided the added incentive of money for every synopsis of everything we read. I was the happy camper, as I benefited most from this, since I could dash off summaries in a jiffy. And because I was a fast reader as well, I could have at least one summary a day, which earned me a pretty penny until my mother figured out that it wasn’t working on my two brothers. Shortly after that, she stopped giving the monetary incentives, as she had bigger problems to deal with besides my brothers’ lack of interest in reading and writing.

I never stopped writing.

At 10, I started writing poetry. I had kept a diary since I was 7 years old, and as the diary entries became less, the poetry I wrote increased until I had a full notebook. I could fill up a notebook of poetry every year, but the lure of other extra-curricular and co-curricular activities drew me away from just writing. Still, I joined the school paper every year from 5th grade until I graduated from senior high school; and I joined the school paper in undergraduate school, earning a significant stipend for every article I wrote, and eventually, a substantial amount in various editorial positions until I was the editor-in-chief. I was responsible for contributing to several newsletters for the program I was enrolled in for my undergraduate degree; I was a major writer for summer workshop newsletters; I was on the staff for a grad school newsletter; and I was on the staff for newsletters in various jobs I have held. I continued writing poetry, though I had expanded my repertoire to feature writing, column writing, reporting, and other journalistic efforts.

Once I was working, I participated in research projects; I edited literary publications of works by students; I wrote manuals and seminar materials for teachers; I even wrote a manual for teachers that was released nationwide–and I never saw a copy of that work, but have received feedback from teachers who had seen or had copies of that work! I continued to write poetry, though much reduced in volume and somewhat sporadic now. Most of my writing was scholarly rather than creative and literary. In several jobs, I wrote press articles, interviews, media releases, programme material, copy for programs, ads, posters, flyers, and brochures; speeches, reports, memos, and business letters. I also wrote technical manuals for operational procedures and learning programs; designed programs, curriculum, and books.

Finally, I had reached book writing. I wrote copy for a grammar book; a Communication Arts work text; a series of pre-school work texts; a manual of activities, projects, lessons, and games for English teachers.

I still hadn’t written what I had always wanted to write: a novel.

I wrote a play, instead–well, several plays–but completed one that I liked so much, and that several friends thought highly of, that I was persuaded to submit it to a national literary competition. I was extremely pleased and completely elated when I was informed that it had won the 3rd prize for a full-length play in English. In the most prestigious national literary competition in the Philippines!

Now, I am back to writing essays, mostly informal, as most blogs are.

I have plans to create more blogs to share more of my writing.

I am writing poetry again, although not as regularly as I want, but certainly more than I had written in the last 20 years.

I am trying very hard to establish myself in freelance writing, so that I can eventually spend more time earning from doing something I really enjoy doing and that comes very easily to me.

I am a creative person. I live by creating through words and pictures. I create pictures with words, but I find that sometimes, words cannot express what I want to show–and now I have opened myself to my inner artist–something I had denied because of sibling comparison and a sad lack of encouragement from the people who should have encouraged me from the start. Still, I also am part of the cause–I hated being compared to anyone else, especially my siblings, I hated having to compete for anything, and I hated any form of confrontation, which included having to explain myself. So if my siblings had chosen a certain path and showed themselves good at something, I avoided it. If that were not the case, I probably would have established myself in performing arts early on, as a playwright, an actress and a director–all of which I had a passion for. But my older brother was THE actor and singer. So I did lights, design, and directing. And I hid my voice. I was always afraid it would be criticized, even if I attended voice lessons and joined a couple of choirs, I never did make it to the glee club in school. There were always better singers, and I could never belt it out singing. But I could belt out directing. I was afraid to complete most of the sketches I made or attempt to develop them into anything more than light sketches. I felt that if I continued working on them, the images that initially appeared under my pencil would be ruined and not look real anymore. Besides, my younger brother was THE artist, who later specialized in Fine Arts, and was the Michaelangelo of my mother’s eye. I didn’t even want to delve into the sciences or math because my youngest brother, who had nothing in the creative and artistic department, was THE math wiz. Ironically, I also passed the same national scholarship exam that he did, but because I was in the 2nd 50 rather than in the top 50, I had to take either Math or Science AND Education–which peeved my brother, because, while he could take any science-related course he wanted to, the terms of his scholarship were subject to family income. I, on the other hand, had only two choices, and the government had decided that, because of that, I would get a full scholarship with the maximum benefits–book and clothing allowance and a full monthly stipend to boot! And that didn’t stop me from finding venues for writing. No matter what I did or where I went, writing would eventually find me. And that made me happy.

Now, I have this blog, which gives me the chance to write all I want and share as much of it as I want with anyone around the world who’s interested in reading what I have to say.

I know I will never run out of things to write because the world will never run out of topics.

And one day, I will see my work in print and in bookstores–my ultimate dream come true–and that will only make me want to write some more!

365 Things to Look Forward to — Number 28: Opportunities

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28. Opportunities

I think anyone who sees an opportunity and doesn’t take it is a fool. Or a coward. Or both. Or maybe just too cautious–but why?

We are surrounded by opportunities to do so many things, learn so many things, yet most of us ignore those opportunities and chug away at their usual lives, never knowing the thrill of seeing, doing, learning, touching, feeling, hearing, tasting, trying something new.

Understandably, there are some opportunities most of us would rather pass up…for instance, the opportunity to savour toasted or fried or chocolate-coated insects. Even I draw the line there. And most certainly, anything that is breathing, wriggling, or otherwise alive will not ever be part of my diet. Not consciously, at least, and certainly not willingly.

I’m referring more to opportunities that offer major changes in life, particularly in the aspect of work.

All my life before now, most job opportunities were presented to me, or offered to me, so I never really actively searched for work. Every time someone offered a chance for me to do something or work at something, I’d take it. In fact, it’s how I’ve pretty much determined what direction to take since I accepted a college scholarship. I rarely ever thought twice, and as a result, I have experienced a vast variety of jobs with endless career opportunities. I have acquired an impressive array of skills that I have used repeatedly in a plethora of occasions. I have accumulated a staggering volume of knowledge that I am able to recall or apply, almost at will, or at the oddest or most unusual moments. Never mind that I might not even get to use it all again–or maybe, I just will.

My point is we will always have millions of opportunities open to us. Many people complain that they don’t have any because they fail to see that the opportunities are just lying there. They don’t always jump at you and they aren’t always pointed out to you. Most of the time, you just have to open your eyes and look for them, and they are there for the taking.

If an opportunity requires an expense that you are not ready or willing to commit to, then that opportunity probably isn’t for you, or it isn’t time for that.

I’m not saying all opportunities will result in something good—besides a lesson learned. Many opportunities will lead to negative or undesirable results. It is these opportunities that we must learn to avoid and ignore, or that we must learn to quash and quell.

As I look back on my years since I left the relative safety of high school corridors, I marvel at how boldly I took those opportunities in hand and wonder at how well I had thrived with very minimal damage. I looked at major changes in work conditions that I did not agree with as a sign that it was time to move on.

I look back at the last few years of my life and even if major changes have occurred, I can just finally tell myself that it is now time to move on. Time to grab new opportunities with the hope that one of them will be my dominant undertaking for a while.

365 Things to Look Forward to — Number 27: Shared Photographs

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27. Shared Photographs

A bunch of classmates from high school held a reunion in San Francisco over the weekend. If I had the money, I would have gone, but since I didn’t, all I could do was wait for photographs of the occasion to be posted on Facebook.

What would we do without social networking sites like Facebook? Even before I left the Philippines I was sorely out of touch with anyone from the past, except those I saw or bumped into on occasion, simply because they worked or lived in the same area that I did. Everyone just got out of touch, dropped out of site, dropped out of your life, and all you had were memories of those very brief years spent together.

Thanks to Yahoo! groups, I had a great way of keeping in touch with former classmates, who posted updates, messages, and photos as the years went by. Even if I wasn’t very active in the groups, only very rarely posting a message, I was able to keep up with what was happening to the more active members of the batch. Little by little, the group was built until we had nearly everyone in it, so we are now able to follow what is happening in each other’s lives.

Then came Facebook. The level of “personal” among friends is so much greater. You can see photos from all your friends’ albums and see how they look after so many years, see what they’ve been doing. You can send quick messages, respond to comments or posts, send birthday greetings because a calendar reminds you when your friends’ birthdays are, and share whatever you want.

Through shared photographs, I follow my friends’ lives and vicariously experience whatever they are going through that they choose to post. At first, I was a silent, reluctant user, but since I started “befriending” people I already knew from the past, I have found that there are really so many I know—and don’t know. People I was in close contact with had disappeared for several years, but now I am able to see how they are doing, what they are doing. People I wanted to be in contact with for the longest time, but had no real way to be in touch with on a daily basis, I can now simply send a message or chat with them whenever I feel like it. And then, it feels like time hasn’t really passed at all, like we haven’t really parted ways, because it really is one big social network. And I can share their photographs and share my photographs with them. I marvel at how some have changed…or haven’t changed. I marvel at their children, their homes, their activities. I laugh with them at amusing photographs. I commiserate with tragedies or low moments. I am inspired by the lives they live, by their joie de vivre, by their energy and their accomplishments. And because I know there are some who do appreciate what I do, I post my own photographs and look forward to those comments because all that sharing is food for the soul!

365 Things to Look Forward to — Number 26: Harry Potter!

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26. Harry Potter

First it was the books. A dear friend of mine asked me one day, several years ago, if I had read Harry Potter. Being totally immersed in work back then, I had not even heard of the phenomenon. So he introduced me to the series by lending me the first book, which he promised I would enjoy. Despite work and other business, I quickly finished the book and returned it to him the next day, begging for the next, which he promptly lent me. In two days, I was ready for the third book, which had just been released that year, and as soon as my friend had finished reading it, the book was in my hands. After that, I eagerly awaited each new installment, also eventually purchasing my own copies which I read again and shared with my youngest son.

By the time the first movie came out, my youngest and I were waiting in anticipation for yet another book, and every year that a movie was released, he and I would make it a point to catch it after all the die-hard fans had seen it. We preferred not to wait hours in line for the movie so we watched it a couple of weeks after the opening to avoid the crowds of Pottermaniacs.

When the last book finally came out, it was just when we had moved to Canada, and it was one of our very first purchases, along with groceries and household needs. There were two bookmarks in that book—my son and I would take turns reading it, I when he was sleeping or watching TV or doing something else; he when I was busy with housework or something else. Turning the final page of the final chapter in the final installment was almost like closing the doors on a chapter of one’s life…but that didn’t stop us from waiting for the last 3 installments to be turned into movies and released for public viewing. Indeed, if we could only watch one movie a year, it would have been Harry Potter.

Which brings us to the last installment of movies, which, rather than being just 3 installments, was stretched out to 4.

No, I still have not seen the final film. I eagerly look forward to seeing it, that is certain, and I am a bit sad that I have not seen the last 2 with my son, nor will I see the final one with him. It’s been running 3 weeks now and it is time to catch it, after all the impatient ones have been there. I know I will savour the ending, no matter that I don’t like the way it ends, because it will mark the end of a journey that has spanned more than 7 years…is it 9 or 10 since I first discovered the phenomenon that has enthralled the whole world for a decade or thereabouts?

Now they should get on with the rest of the Narnia chronicles, and the rest of the Golden Compass series so that we fantasy buffs have something more to look forward to.

365 Things to Look Forward to – Number 25: Rent paid

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25. Rent paid

Paying my rent every month has become a bit of a challenge during summer when I don’t have the income from substitute teaching and I don’t have full-time hours at the store, mainly because I can’t work the full-time hours every day, 5 days a week. As a result, I make just barely enough to pay the rent and a couple of bills and hardly anything else. There’s not enough for groceries or eating out, much less any form of entertainment. So when I do get to clear my rent, I am able to breathe a little easier, because that’s one major anxiety gone. Unfortunately, there are a couple of bills that will have to wait to be settled….

Now, I just need to pay my electricity bill and I’ll be good for another 3 weeks or so, when I’ll start worrying about my August bills and September rent. Once school starts again, I’ll be able to get substitute teaching jobs that will pretty much take care of the majority of my bills and I’ll be less stressed out….except for the upcoming concert that I need to put more work into this month.

Sigh.