In Memoriam: Rosa Pilar Roxas Amador

Mom was better known to people as Nena Amador, or Tita Nena, but to me, she was ‘Mom’ from the onset.

Some say that when you marry, you marry a family and not just a person. In my case, I think I was happier being “married” to the family than just one person. Who wouldn’t with a mom like Nena Amador? She welcomed me right away with open arms and treated me like a daughter from the start. It was easy to want to be part of her family, and she made it easy for me.

She loved unconditionally. She was generous to a fault. Sure, she had her faults, but compared to her largesse, they were petty and material things that were easily overlooked. She enjoyed life and found humor in many things. She talked. Did she love to talk! I don’t think it just had to do with age, either. I loved listening to her stories of growing up, of her father, of family. It added greatly to my sense of belonging. It was something I wasn’t used to, since we hardly talked to each other when I was growing up, but it was nice to know where people stood and what people thought.

We did things together just like a mother and daughter would. We spent time in the kitchen, cooked, chatted. We shopped together, went to doctor’s appointments together, watched plays together. She trusted me to cook meals and asked for my ideas and opinions on many things. She was eager to have grandchildren and I was happy to share my kids with her. When Justin was born, there was no way you could keep her away from him, and I gladly made every effort to have them spend time together.

When times became tough for her, I naturally took her into my home, just as she had taken me into hers. It was the least I could do and I didn’t have to think twice about it. If I could have afforded it, I would have brought her all the way to Canada with me.

I have missed her every day since she moved out of my house through circumstances I could not control. I missed her much more when I moved halfway around the world. And now, I will miss her even more.

My one comfort is that she will always be a part of me and that she can be closer to me than ever because she is no longer hampered by her physical being, by pain or suffering, by illness or lack. She can be anywhere and everywhere, and I know she is looking out for me from the great beyond.

I love you, Mom. I will never forget you.


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