The problem with scrubbing floors

A lady told me that she still scrubbed her floor on her hands and knees. I was dumbfounded. In this day and age, who still does that? That’s what long-handled mops are for! You certainly aren’t going to catch me doing that. In the first place, I’d have to get down on my hands and knees. I might be able to do that on a bed, but on the floor? I mean, not that I can’t do it. It’s getting up from the floor that’s the problem! Not to mention, after half a second on my knees, it hurts like hell! It never mattered when we were kids, crawling everywhere. Try that without padding on your knees! Then, you have to try to get up and find out that your back just won’t straighten out in one quick graceful move. No. You have to slowly stretch out like a rusty hinge. If you’re lucky, it won’t sound like a rusty hinge! Then, you have to raise one knee and plant a foot on the ground. That’s not too bad. It’s when you start trying to get that other foot flat on the floor that you discover your balance is somewhat off and you have to find something to hang on to so you can pull yourself up. If you’re lucky, there might be a chair or stool or table nearby. Warning: don’t use the bucket unless you want to get back down and sop it all up on your hands and knees. If there’s nothing around to hang on to, you’re left to pushing down on the knee that’s already up and slowly dragging the other foot so it’s flat on the floor. Then you have to raise yourself slowly so you don’t lose your balance before you finally heave yourself up and you’re on both feet. Hurrah! Another feat accomplished! And that’s why I use a mop on my floor.

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